Oh boy.
The room can most generously be described as "spartan." The en-suite was laughable. Warped floor, lino peeling... Not even a real shower enclosure. A grubby shower curtain.
That's not even the worst bit. Mould, and plenty of it, all around the shower head.
The walls of the room are paper thin. You can hear everything (and I mean EVERYTHING) your neighbours are doing or talking about. Needless to say, that includes the TV. It's honestly like there isn't a wall there at all.
Arrived to breakfast, and barked at by a member of staff for sitting at a table not set for breakfast, after being invited to sit "anywhere." Literally, the only difference is that table had a wine glass set on it as opposed to a coffee cup.
Breakfast, if you don't want anything cooked, is a selection of supermarket pastries, or a small box of cereal.
Topping it off, is checking out. Not even asking how our stay was. Just... "thanks." No "hope you enjoyed your stay." Nothing.
How they have the audacity to class themselves as a spa is beyond me. It genuinely felt on par with Fawlty Towers. Without doubt, the worst hotel I've stayed in in the UK.